My Insomnia is Back

I am extremely tired as I write this, so please excuse all the spelling and grammar errors. After a year of averaging 6-8 hours of sleep a night my insomnia has returned with a vengeance. I think my mind is out to get me.

Last year my doctor put me on trazodone to treat my insomnia. This prescription medication is actually an anti-depressant and hasn’t been approved by the FDA to treat insomnia. One of the side effects of trazodone is drowsiness, so it is widely prescribed to treat insomnia. I started out on 25 mg of trazodone and gradually increased it to 100 mg. I take my trazodone along with a ton of other herbal and over the counter sleeping pills every night right around 10 pm. Usually I am asleep in about an hour after taking my sleep remedies. A couple of weeks ago I noticed that my usual concoction quit working. Last night was the worse night for me in a long, long time.

I took all my pills at 10pm right after I got done watching the Voice on NBC, which we had recorded on our DVR. By the way, it was an awesome show last night and I sure hope my three favorites get to move on. I went to bed upstairs and again turned on the TV to unwind. (I think I need to stop watching TV before bed). After a half an hour my eyes started to hurt so I knew it was time to turn off the boob tube.

Chris came up around 11 o’clock and I was still wide awake. I started thinking about all the events from that day with my eyes closed. Yesterday was a crazy day. The kids got off to school pretty good that morning. I got my Amazon order processed and packaged. Chris took it to the post office and went to Kitty’s doctor’s appointment. Monkey played outside with the kid down the street while Bear took a nap on the living room floor. I witnessed Monkey dart out into the street twice and made him come home.

Chris and Kitty got home around 2:30. I did dishes, packed, did some laundry, opened and organised the packages the kids got from my in-laws. The kids got their swim suits on but we could not find their slip and slide. I determined that Chris accidentally threw it out the last time he cleaned out the garage. So he took the four kids to the store to get a new one.

All the neighbor girls played in our back yard with Kitty, Parrot, Monkey and Bear in the new slip and slide. Chris also got the kids water guns. I must have refilled those guns at least a dozen times. We had frozen pizza for dinner followed by chocolate cake. Chris spoils those kids. He gets a lot of sweet treats for them. Maybe he feels guilty for being away from the kids so much for work, so he has to spoil them with treats that really are not good for them. This frustrates me, but it is beyond my control so I let him spoil them. He does make healthier treats and desserts for the kids too, so I shouldn’t let a little chocolate cake bother me.

Chris cleaned up the yard after dinner and the kids and I cleaned up the playroom. Parrot won the best cleaner award so he was able to pick out the Netflix show before bed. Chris left to get Goose from her end-of-the-year drama club party and I sat around with the kids until bed time. Parrot and Kitty went to bed around 8 and Monkey and Bear crashed in the living room just before 9.

By this time I was beat. We watched the Voice and I started my bed time routine at 10 pm. So there I sat while Chris snored beside me. Finally I went downstairs to the couch. But the hum of the air conditioner on the other side of the wall from me was unbearable so I ran upstairs and turned it off.

While laying on the couch I said a few Hail Mary’s and thanked God for all my blessings from that day. But then I could hear the sprinklers outside. The noise was torturous. I laid there and listened until they finally stopped.

I counted to 20. I counted back to 0. I said my ABCs. I probably repeated this a dozen times or more. This is an old trick that my brother, Aaron taught me when I was a kid. It used to work great when I was young, but now…not so much.

Then I heard Bear calling for Mommy from upstairs. I managed to glance over to the clock on my way over to the steps. It said 2:30. Shit! I still haven’t fallen asleep yet.

After changing Bear’s soaking wet pants (Chris forgot to take his swim diaper off at pj time) I snuggled with my little Bear and finally fell asleep. I always get up at 6 so I think I only had 3 hours of sleep.

I think my body has built up a tolerance for all the sleeping pills that I take so this week I am planning on doing a detox. No caffeine after 12 noon, no television at 10 pm and no drugs before bed. I will keep you posted on my progress. I sure hope that this works. If not, then I will be sleeping a lot on the car ride out to Wisconsin. I hope Chris does not need my help with the driving!

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