Let it Go

Just like Elsa did in Frozen, I need to let it go too. But for me, the it is my anxieties and high expectations of myself.  It is time for me to “Let it go.”

Elsa stopped hiding and stopped trying to be who she really wasn’t. Ever since I was little I wanted to be who I wasn’t. I was too hard on myself and thought I could do more than I could really handle. When I didn’t reach a goal, I felt defeated and humiliated. I set my goals too high and I still do.
I have surrounded my life with lists, expectations and to-do’s.  Each time I don’t complete my list, I think I am the worst person ever.  Chris said that I have always been too hard on myself and try to do more than I am actually capable of.  He is right. Starting today I am going to let it go.
“The snow glows white on the mountain tonight
Not a footprint to be seen
A kingdom of isolation,
And it looks like I’m the queen.

The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn’t keep it in, heaven knows I tried!
Don’t let them in, don’t let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know
Well, now they know!
Let it go, let it go
Can’t hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door!”

It is time that I stop pretending to be the superwoman that I am not.  I am letting go of the lists, letting go of my anxiety and worries.  The dishes can wait, the laundry doesn’t have to get done right away, it doesn’t matter if there are scuffs on my wall or toys on the floor.  Who is going to notice if I took a shower or not, today? That will be my little secret.

It is time that I pay attention to what is really important, like spending time drawing pictures with my kids.

And watching them play, sing and dance to music.

I need to laugh more when this little guy is being silly.

Starting today I will praise my kids more and yell less. I will be more generous with my hugs and kisses.

When they misbehave, I will tell myself that it is okay to have that glass of wine at 7:30 in the morning.

I am tearing up my lists and tearing up my schedules. I can not accomplish everything. I will not accomplish everything. What doesn’t get done can wait until tomorrow.  No longer will I get upset if I don’t meet the expectations I set for myself.  Starting today I will “Let it go.”

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