kids with special needs

Raising Kids With Special Needs

Making the most of the social work you do with kids with special needs is crucial. Here are a few ideas to get you started.

Make sure your kids have a good support network. Social workers who work with kids with special needs often find that it’s easy to be alone because you’re in the trenches so early. It helps if you have someone you can turn to when you need someone to talk to or when you need help getting into a meeting or situation.

Be there for them. A big reason why kids with special needs struggle with schoolwork and social skills is because they are so uncomfortable with self-examination and with being “different.” However, it’s important that you be an effective example, willing to listen to their concerns and take a critical look at themselves.

The more comfortable they are with you, the easier it will be for them to open up to you about difficult situations. Let them know that you understand what they’re going through and that you’re not judging them or putting down their struggles. Help them realize that they’re not alone and that the whole world will be okay.

Be a good role model for them. If you get upset or emotional about some of the things your kids are experiencing, your kids won’t want to talk to you much. Your emotions may result in communication problems, feelings of isolation and unmet needs.

That said, if you think you’re struggling with the ability to be neutral and to show kids that it’s okay to express emotion and to let you see the good sides of their personalities, then there is a good basis for you to really involve yourself with your kids and make them feel more loved and accepted. Show them that expressing emotion and even laughing can be appropriate, and that it’s okay to be vulnerable. Encourage them to express all the good things about themselves and share their feelings.

When you’re dealing with poor behavior, offer to talk to the parent before imposing negative consequences. For instance, if they get in trouble for something they did, talk to them and make it clear that you understand their frustration and that it’s no way to make a positive impact on their kids. You may even ask them to find alternative activities for their kids to participate in.

Communicate with your kids. Kids with special needs need to hear from you that they are valued. That includes hearing that you admire their accomplishments and that you want to be around when they graduate or start school. Showing these messages with statements such as “I hope your school career is a good one,” or “Your academic performance means a lot to me,” will demonstrate to your kids that you appreciate their efforts and that you care about them.

Always remember that positive reinforcement doesn’t mean you have to follow through. In fact, it’s just the opposite. It means that it’s OK to occasionally let your child know that you can’t help them and that they’ll have to figure out how to do things on their own.

Always put your children’s needs ahead of your own. This is so they learn to look at you as a friend and not as a parent, which help them feel more secure in you. Teaching kids with special needs that it’s OK to take care of their own needs and to look out for their best interests teaches them responsibility and self-reliance.

When in doubt, it’s best to listen to your child and then speak back to them with an appropriate response, such as “I’m sorry, but I don’t have the time or the expertise to help you with that right now. If you need help with something, please check back in a couple of weeks.”

Find out what is and isn’t effective. It might seem like a lot of work, but the kids with special needs who are making progress will tell you that it’s well worth it.